20 Signs u are dating a boy and not a man

1. He Plays Games

I’m not talking about video games. As long as it’s not interfering with his life, let the guy play. No, I’m talking about the kind of games when he’s fucking with your mind. Basically, he hasn’t learned the difference between dating and being in a grown-up relationship. Call him out on it. Maybe he’ll stop.

2. He Only Cares About Himself

He has no interest in your hopes and dreams unless they revolve around him; he only cares that his needs are being met. An actual adult would have already figured out he’s not the center of the goddamn universe.

3. He Lives Only In The Moment

He’s learned nothing from the past and has no plans for the future. This can be an endearing quality, but it will get frustrating if you’re trying to plan a life with someone incapable of commitment.

4. He Lives With His Parents

Yeah, no shit, right? Still, when we’re drawn to people, we tend to make excuses for their faults. But this is the reddest of red flags. How can you expect to have an adult relationship with someone who’s never left the nest?

5. He Expects You To Be His Mom

If he thinks being in a relationship means he never has to cook, do his laundry or clean up after himself (or needs you to at least remind him to do those things), you’re in pretty warped territory. Let him know you’re more than a maid he gets to bang.

6. He Fades Into The Background When He’s Out Of His Element

Even though he’s the life of the party when he’s around his buddies, he clams up at work functions or “adult” dinner parties. He either feels inferior or he’s uninterested in expanding his social circle. Either way, he’s got a lot of growing up to do.

7. He’s Selfish In Bed

He thinks sex is only about getting him off. Whether he’s skipping the foreplay or racing to the finish line, he hasn’t learned that relationship sex is about teamwork.

8. He Doesn’t Remember Any Plans He Doesn’t Make Himself

Guys don’t always like having to go to your sorority sister’s wedding or your family reunion, but if you’ve told him about it, he should have marked his calendar. If he acts surprised when the day arrives, this is a sign that he doesn’t respect you, which is a major symptom of immaturity.

9. He Can’t Hold Down A Job

I’m not saying he has to have his whole career planned out, but if he blows off work when he doesn’t feel like going, quits or gets fired because he’s too lazy or the job is too boring, this guy still doesn’t know life isn’t always about doing whatever he wants to do all the time.

10. He Doesn’t Stand Up For You

If he doesn’t have your back when you get into a confrontation (even if he doesn’t agree with you), he either doesn’t give a shit about you or he’s a coward. Either way, he’s not a man.

11. He Never Takes Blame

Nothing’s ever his fault, is it? A man doesn’t worry about who’s at fault — it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing productive about assigning or arguing about blame. If something’s wrong, just fix it.

12. He Tries To “Win” Arguments With You

It’s been said many times that arguing in relationships is a good thing — it proves you’re both invested. But arguments are about finding middle ground, not about coming out on top. And a grown-up man knows there’s no way to win an argument with a woman, anyway.

13. He Doesn’t Take Care Of You

And I don’t mean financially. You’re an independent, 21st-century woman — you don’t need a man to pay your bills. But if he’s not bringing you chicken soup when you’re sick or giving you rides when your car’s in the shop, this is not a guy you can depend on.

14. He’s Passive-Aggressive

Instead of being upfront and honest with you when you’ve pissed him off or hurt his feelings, he just shuts down or finds subtle ways to make your life difficult. Screw that guy. He’s a big baby.

15. He Worries Too Much About What Other People Think

A man doesn’t care what anyone thinks about him as long as he believes in what he’s doing. Confidence (not arrogance) comes with maturity.

16. He’s Rebellious For No Reason

No one wants to be a full-on conformist, but we are living in a society, here. If this guy intentionally does the opposite of what’s expected from him just for the sake of being contrarian, that’s a sign of insecurity, immaturity or douche-baggery.

17. He’s Not Assertive

Speaking of confidence, a grown-up man isn’t afraid to go after what he wants. If this guy can’t manage to get a drink at a crowded bar or he’s too timid to tell you he likes a finger up his ass during sex, he’s never going to amount to anything.

18. He Refuses To Compromise

This guy has an unrealistic and outdated idea of what it means to be a man. He thinks that unless everything is done on his terms, he’ll be perceived as weak-willed. Grown-ups know life is full of compromises.

19. He Can’t Fix Anything

Maybe it’s an old gender role, but men are expected to be reasonably handy. He needs to know how to change a tire, mount a towel rack or at the very least, put together an IKEA bookshelf without bursting into tears.

20. He Gets Wasted Too Often

I’m all for going out and getting blasted every once in a while, but after college, it shouldn’t be the whole point of every night out. Cleaning up his puke and dealing with his morning-after hangovers is going to get old fast.

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